Archive for Remake

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Posted in Horror Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2010 by Pass the Popcorn!

Director: Marcus Nispel

Writers: Kim Henkel (1974 screenplay)

Tobe Hooper (1974 screenplay)

Scott Kosar

Tagline: Inspired by a True Story

Plot: A group of friends passing through are stalked and hunted down by a deformed killer with a chainsaw in order to sustain his poor family who can only afford to eat what they kill.

Cast: Jessica Biel – Erin

Jonathan Tucker – Morgan

Erica Leerhsen – Pepper

Mike Vogel – Andy

Eric Balfour – Kemper

Review (spoilers):

Yesterday I noticed I have a DVD of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in my collection so I decided to give it a watch. That was a really bad thing to do. I’m not a huge fan of the original movie, I just find it to be very decent and above average but this remake is just….horrible. I think you are all familiar with the movie’s idea about a psychotic (and cannibalistic) family and its members who kill nearby travelers (read: a standard group of teeny friends who want to have sex and do drugs).

The movie starts with a fine, narrative intro which makes us think we are watching a documentary rather a horror movie. The same style was used in the original TCM so the remake seemed so far so good. Unfortunately, it all went downhill from there. Now we are being introduced to a bunch of friends who are going to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. I don’t think it’s really necessary to mention that the characters have almost no development at all and that most of them are simply pure cannon fodder and free kills. And, of course, their actions and decisions are too stupid, even for a teeny horror like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Besides that, the movie is too predictable and obvious, it seems like the script was written by a person who is a half retard. Speaking of bad writing, I was simply amazed at how many pointless, stupid and unnecessary things are in the movie. In the original TCM the cannibalistic family consists of only 3 members, in the remake the family is huge (at least 6 or 7 of them)! I think every time the script writer ran out of any real ideas for the further plot, he introduced us to a new family member – some of them even serve as a “deus ex machina”. Scenes like those were so irrelevant to the main plot that they didn’t make any sense at all. This version of TCM also features a stupidly boring 10 – 15 minute chainsaw chase during which I almost fell a sleep. In conclusion, by the time the movie ended there was no suspense at all. If you are going to remake a cult horror movie, you could at least try to make it enjoyable but I just think that this remake is purposely bad, just another mainstream, American teeny horror (in a very bad way).

The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (19745) was a strangely disturbing movie that opened some new horizons for other horror movies. It’s a shame it has such a bad remake, which lacks everything that made the original so famous. It isn’t disturbing at all but hollow and I’m not a big fan of gore but this movie could definitely use some more. The remake really needs something special, worth watching and remembering, something to stand out with from the rest of the generic horror movies. Btw, I was shocked by the remake’s positive ratings and reviews on imdb. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) is nothing more than pure crap.

My Rating: 2/10… Boring. Yawn. Don’t watch it at all costs.