Archive for September, 2009

Braindead (1992)

Posted in Horror Review with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2009 by Pass the Popcorn!

Director: Peter Jackson

Writer: Stephen Sinclair(story)

Stephen Sinclair(screenplay)

Tagline: Some things won’t stay down… even after they die.

Plot: A young man’s mother is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey. She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life, killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends, and neighbors.

Cast: Timothy Balme – Lionel Cosgrove

Diana Penalver – Paquita Maria Sanchez

Elizabeth Moody – Mum (Vera Cosgrove)

Ian Wathin – Uncle Les

Brenda Kendall – Nurse McTavish

Review( Spoilers ):

Ok, honestly, I just don’t know where to start with this pure masterpiece! It begins with a crazy running scene which ends bloody and gory! “You’ve got the bite!” You just have to love that quote :  ).  So some people catch a rat monkey of some sort and decide to send it a Zoo somewhere. Unfortunately for Lionel, the movie’s main character, his mother got beaten by that animal and she turned into a zombie. As you go through the movie you get more and more zombies and it ends with a house burning down, splendid!

This movie is funny as hell, I thought I couldn’t find a funnier move than Evil Dead 2 with similar theme, I was so wrong. The most hilarious moments in the movie surely were: the lunch scene where the mum just got the bite recently and she is slowly rotting, the zombie feeding scene which turns in to a zombie sex scene (!!!), baby walk scene, mum’s funeral, nazi doctor and all death scenes. I won’t go in details now, you just have to see everything for yourself. It is a really fun ride through all that cheap blood and gore.

Acting is also awesome, Timothy and Diana did a very good job! There was so much chemistry between those 2 :  ). Supporting actors are also worth mentioning, without some of them Braindead just couldn’t be what is it now.  I’m also in love with the soundtracks which were somewhat creepy and they did fit perfectly the movie’s mood! There are so many positive things about Braindead! I watched it 4 times in one month and I find it to maybe be my all time favourite. I know I sound like a crazy fanboy but Braindead is really excellent, trust me.

To be honest, don’t know what more to say  except watch it! The every moment in the movie is perfect. If you want a bloody and trashy comedy featuring lots of zombies Braindead was made for you! The only sad thing about is that Peter Jackson doesn’t do movies like this one anymore, what a pity!

My rating: 10/10… awesome, awesome, AWESOME. It sure is a classic.

Friday the 13th (1980)

Posted in Horror Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2009 by Pass the Popcorn!

friday1Director: Sean S. Cunningham

Writer: Victor Miller

Tagline: On Friday The 13th, They Began To Die Horribly, One……By One

Plot: Camp counselors are stalked and murdered by an unknown assailant while trying to re-open a summer camp that was the site of a child’s drowning.

Cast: Betsy Palmer – Mrs. Voorhees

Adrienne King – Alice

Jeannine Taylor – Marcie

Robbi Morgan – Annie

Kevin Bacon – Jack

Review (spoilers):

I’m going to review another legendary movie which created a famous mass murdering icon named Jason. It starts with deaths of 2 people who are trying to have some sex, horrorfying isn’t it, pre marriage sex? It’s a good lesson for all you horny kids. Now back to the plot…after that a bunch of tree hugging hippies come to a summer camp, which is near the pond where some kid died long ago, and they are acting all gay & stuff. Suddenly they are (according to the tagline) beginning to die horribly one by one.

First minus I’ll give to it are the stupid camera angles. They are uncommon because you mustn’t see the murderer’s face so you can’t realize that it’s actually a woman, what an overturn! Yes, I didn’t knew anything about his/hers identity but I also didn’t knew shit about what’s going on. That also killed any kind of real nice atmosphere.

Next minus is about the plot, actually, there is no plot at all. It goes like this: kill-wait some time-kill-wait some time- repeat . Original and innovative, I must say! Boring as shit, if you are watching the movie just because of the death scenes, watch the official trailer, some retard put them all in there. Only difference is in how will the person die, will it be killed by an axe, knife, something else? We don’t know, and guess what, we don’t care. All in all it’s an above average slasher which doesn’t have any depth. I found it to be worthless.

Also, the movie is breaking the number 1 horror movie rule I said in my first review: “NO IRRITATING GRANDMAS WITH BLATANT VOICES IN HORROR MOVIES!” Yes, the all mysterious killer is actually the old mother which child drowned in the pond, I didn’t see that one coming, did I? After that shocking reveal it comes a Tom & Jerry scene with that grandma and the main actress which ends bloody.

The only scene which keeps this movie from total fail is the last one where Jason hops from the lagoon and attacks the main female character, that really was scary and non expecting.

All in all, an another horribly overrated movie which had big potential. I haven’t watched the sequels and I won’t. I mean, there are like 12 movies or something like that!! What can we expect in 50-60 years, Friday the 13th part 29392834932928332?

My Rating: 3/10… It would have been lower if it wasn’t for the last scene.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Posted in Horror Review with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2009 by Pass the Popcorn!
Director: Roman Polanski

Writers: Ira Levin (novel)

Roman Polanski (screenplay)

Tagline: Pray for Rosemary’s Baby

Plot: A young couple move into a new apartment, only to be surrounded by peculiar neighbors and occurrences. When the wife becomes mysteriously pregnant, paranoia over the safety of her unborn child begins controlling her life.

Cast: Mia Farrow – Rosemary Woodhouse
John Cassavetes – Guy Woodhouse
Ruth Gordon – Minnie Castevet
Sidney Blackmer – roman Castevet
Maurice Evans – Edward ‘Hutch’ Hutchins

Review (spoilers):

Ok, I’ve heard so many good things about this movie (high imdb ranking, on many sites it was in top 20 horror movies, people were recommending it etc.) so I was very enthusiastic about watching it. The movie starts with Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse moving into a new apartment but their friends warns them about the house being haunted or something like that. Yes, stupid cliche but I liked the atmosphere anyway. Some boring shits occurs, than some more, more and more and blah blah blah, we have a dead girl on the street who mystically killed herself but only day before she told Rosemary she is very happy with her life ( NO WAY, THIS IS SOME SPOOKY SHIT!!!). The whole street scene is ridiculous, actors were either overreacting or not reacting at all. However, the Woodhouses meet the Castevets, and old couple who took care about the dead girl and they are a little freaky. Something is happening for a hour and half or so than film ends. Boring.

I, literally, had a problem with falling asleep during this movie. Almost nothing is happening during the whole movie and than it ends. I was wtf during the last scene. I don’t understand the point of this movie: was it meant to be so stupid or does it have some deeper intelligent meaning about a skinny girl giving birth to a devil’s child and I’m to primitive to get it? Actually, I don’t want to know the answer because both options would be an insult to me.

Let’s now think about those “horrorish” elements in the movie. A very skinny girl with awful haircut is either screaming all the time in the movie/crying/or is hurt, truly scary, I must say. I don’t know how Mia Farrow got this role, her voice is very soft and she too much sounds like a baby. And speaking about irritating voices: check out Ruth Gordon who is playing Minnie Castevet. Let’s make a rule number 1: NO IRRITATING GRANDMAS WITH BLATANT VOICES IN HORROR MOVIES! It ain’t scary, it’s retarded. The only good and “scary” scene in the movie would be the Satan’s rape of Rosemary but it’s supposed to be like a drugged scene of some sort so you don’t understand a thing what’s going on there. I don’t know what to spit on next because there are so many stupid things: movie’s length which could be (if you take out the stupid parts out) 2 hours shorter, almost no plot, “weird” and “freaky” scenes like killing that fat Hutch guy, all that stuff about witches, cults which were clearly not important…

Some people say that Rosemary’s Baby is based on some silent fear. Beats me if I know what is so so silent about Mia Farrow screaming all the time nor what is actually scary. The atmosphere also fails. It’s just boring, I don’t know what’s all fuss about it.

I haven’t read the book yet but I’m sure in one thing – after this movie, I won’t it read at all.

My Rating: 2/10… barely watchable, horribly overrated, stupid and dull. Need more explanation?